Blue Water Grill – A “Caper” Caper, or, Why are there two capers in my dessert?
This past Saturday, I went to Blue Water Grill for a friend’s baby shower. I was pretty excited because I’d never been there before, and I heard their fish dishes are delish. It turns out the crush and noise level one experiences there during the brunch rush is not so appetizing. Neither was my “Warm Chocolate Molten Cake w/ Bittersweet Chocolate Crisp and Malt Crunch Ice Cream.”
I don’t know why I always fall for the molten chocolate cake thing.  It’s usually a disappointment– with dry, tasteless crusts, and pudding-like, gelatinous insides. It’s like people think if the words “molten” and “chocolate” are put together, all will be right with the world. This one certainly fell into that slot, but with the addition of bland, Breyer’s-like ice cream and a weird green gel squirted along the plate’s perimeter. Neither myself nor my companion could place the gel’s flavor– it really tasted like those cheap colored frosting gels you decorate cookies with when you’re five years old.  I also noticed a couple things I swore looked like capers lining the plate atop the gel. “What could they be?” I thought.  “Cardamom pods, perhaps? Hmm, but no one else who ordered this cake has those things on their plate. But they can’t possibly be capers, because that would be so disgusting.” Well, it turns out they were capers, in all of their salty, pickley glory… and I was turned off of dessert for the rest of the day.
(Sorry no pics, but I felt it would be disrespectful to photograph my interloping capers as the baby momma’s momma had very kindly treated us to the brunch, and she was sitting right next to me.)
Mike & Son Sharpening Service – Coming soon to a street corner near you
**I know this isn’t about dessert exactly, but knives are just a liiiiitle bit important in the culinary world, wouldn’t you say?**
While perusing the interwebs at some point recently, I came across something about there being a mobile sharpening truck that comes around periodically. I thought to myself, “I think I read about that kind of thing in Hawthorne’s House of the Seven Gables, but that takes place in 1850s New England! I have, like, 5 knives that are so dull I’ve basically stopped cooking. Remembering to bring them somewhere to get sharpened is such a hassle, and I’m too lazy to make a special trip into town. I would love if that old-school sharpening truck came around here.”
I’ve lived in my current spot for more than 9 years, and on weekends, my subconscious has vaguely registered a ringing noise occasionally coming from the street. As a resident of busy Brooklyn, you come to accept all kinds of noises and learn to just ignore them. And so I did, until today.
So I’m sitting on my couch checking out pastryscoop.com, when I hear that familiar-ish ringing noise again. But it’s not exactly a ringing noise– my mind transforms it into more like metal getting ground. WAIT! Is that by any miracle the sharpening truck?! I look out the window, and there it is, this ancient-looking green truck with drawings of knives and scissors on the side. What luck! I quickly grab every cooking knife I can find in the house (3 chef’s, 2 paring, 1 bread), wrap them in a towel, and rush outside like a crazy person, hoping like hell that 1. the truck is still there, and 2. that none of them slip out and stab me in the foot. Here’s the truck!
WD-50 – A Dessert Blogger’s Paradise
At the suggestion of Pastry Chef Chavigny of Daniel and a generous birthday gift from my brother, the next stop on my explorations was WD-50, a restaurant known for its use of weirdo ingredients and au courant culinary tools like liquid nitrogen (for flash freezing), hydrocolloids (or various “gums” for changing the consistencies of liquids), and dehydrators. Leading the charge in the pastry kitchen is Chef Alex Stupak, formerly of Alinea in Chicago, another major player in the world of cutting-edge cookery.
For just $38, you can get your own 3-course dessert tasting. Since I was with a friend, I asked our waiter whether Chef Stupak would condescend to give us 3 different desserts each, so that we could try a total of 6. We waited on tenterhooks for him to return from the kitchen with the verdict… which was Yes– huzzah!
Every plate was like a playground for the senses and also a puzzle… for my mind. I hardly knew where to start with each one. Some dishes had delicious elements all around– you could enjoy each one alone, or combine them with others. Other dishes were truly deconstructed desserts, where each element alone tasted either bland or downright nasty, but when combined with others created a perfect balance of sweet, bitter, salty, etc. Here are some observations, which you should follow along with the fine pics above, as this can get a mite complicated.
Bouley Bakery / Caf̩ РThe Ultimate Lunch Option [NOW CLOSED]
If you work in or near Tribeca, please don’t read this post. If you do, and you gain a ton of weight as a result, then don’t say I didn’t warn you.
To get an idea of how good the food is here, just imagine actually eating at Bouley, the restaurant, but instead of having waiters serve you, you get it yourself. To call it a buffet, however, would call to mind– very inaccurately– memories of, say, Ponderosa. I mean, this place has duck à l’orange and the most decadent croques monsieurs of your life, for pete’s sake! You get to take your spoils into a fancy-pants dining room. Sure, the plush seating is somewhat stained and grotty, but what do you expect? I just like the fact that they trust the public to keep the mess in check. Plus, they’ve got real silverware and washable plastic water cups all ready for you, so yay for the environment. They’re only open until 8:30pm, and they’re not open on Saturdays, which makes me wonder if they’re worried people will decide to save some major dough and come here instead of Bouley. It’s really that good.
Cannelle Patisserie – A Diamond in the Rough (of the Strip Mall)
Finding Cannelle Patisserie is an adventure in its own right. Since it’s located in the upper reaches of Jackson Heights (and dabbling into East Elmhurst), it involves both train & bus for me to get there from my Brooklyn roost. Then… hmm… where is it? Did I write the address down wrong?  Nope, it turns out this real French patisserie is located waaay back in Waldbaum’s strip mall, requiring you to walk through a suburban-sized parking lot to get there.
Graham Crackers – What’s up with them?
There’s nothing quite like a graham cracker crust with your key lime pie or your cheesecake, is there? And what would s’mores be without ’em?
So who was this Graham person, and why did he invent this cracker/cookie hybrid? It turns out there’s a fabulous story behind him, best told at The Straight Dope. Sylvester Graham (1794-1851) was an American dietitian who started a movement to get people to eat healthy foods– an early Gwyneth Paltrow, if you will. He advocated lots of good stuff you can totally get behind: eating whole grains and vegetables, brushing your teeth and bathing daily, getting lots of exercise, and sleeping 7 hours a night. Unfortunately, he also forbade alcohol, spices (including salt & pepper), sugar, fat, and meat. And so it was through this “Graham Diet†that the idea for graham crackers came about, as they’re supposed to be bland little healthy snacks that are made with whole wheat flour. In his day, people thought white flour was the flour of refinement, and that only poor people ate coarsely ground whole wheat flour, so Graham had a tough time convincing them otherwise. Now, before you think he was a bastion of good sense (albeit a bit puritanical), I must inform you that one of his main reasons for promoting this healthy lifestyle was to stave off the evils of what he called “the self-abuse,†aka masturbation. He believed that sexual exertions led to all kinds of nasty things, like blindness, epilepsy, indigestion, and insanity. Through lots of cold baths and bland food, one could keep these impulses at bay. The guy ended up having quite a bit of influence, most notably on Harvey Kellogg of Kellogg’s (Super-Bland) Cornflakes fame. Also, Americans do shower a lot.
In 1898, Nabisco was able to successfully market graham crackers, adding honey to the recipe in 1925, and continuing to change it until we’ve got the common graham cracker of today: full of refined flour, sugar, fat, and chemicals– exactly what Graham railed against. If you’re on the hunt for more of an old-school graham cracker, look for Health Valley brand. It’s sure to curb your sexual appetite.
Dairy Queen – My Dessert Alma Mater
Oh, Dairy Queen, how do I love thee? Let me count the ways…
My first job at the grand-old age of 14 was at the DQ down the street from me. Ah, the camaraderie and the 90s R&B music played all day long… ah, the numerous “mistakes†we were allowed to eat. Now, I realize that DQ is no Payard Patisserie. I get it. What DQ represents for me is summer, a simpler time of life, and smooth, creamy soft serve. Since there’s no DQ to be found in NYC (a Carvel conspiracy, perhaps?), I pounce on any DQ I find during a road trip or trip back home. My favorite treat is the Pecan Cluster Blizzard, a wondrous mix of vanilla soft serve, pecans, butterscotch syrup, and chocolate dip hardened and blended into chunks. The sweetness of the butterscotch, mixed with the texture and crunch of the nuts, finished with the chocolateyness of the dip are heaven itself for me. Also on offer are old-school soda fountain drinks like the Chocolate Malted (favored by my dad) and the Boston Cooler (a mixture of Vernor’s Ginger Ale & vanilla soft serve). When I moved to the East Coast, it took me a long time get used to the “pop = soda” thing because the word “soda†conjures for me visions of ice cream treats like a chocolate soda… mmmm…
Steve’s AUTHENTIC Key Lime Pies – Treats “On the Waterfront”
Going to Steve’s AUTHENTIC (all-caps!) Key Lime Pies is like visiting a crazy sea captain, if said sea captain kept a hermitage on a pier in Red Hook and baked delicious pies all day. Just follow the sign on Van Brunt & Van Dyke Sts., past the little garden crowned with a boat, and you’ll find the promised: “Pie’s Here.â€Â Hooray! Inside you’ll find a relatively dark, vaguely nautical-themed space which is the wholesale bakery itself with a small counter for purchasing pies. Steve’s is very insistent on making sure you understand that getting an actual key lime pie is rare. Key limes are a specific variety of limes that are named after the Florida Keys and are much smaller, more yellow, and more acidic than regular Persian limes you’d buy at the store. They’re rare because they’re annoying to deal with: the thornier the key lime tree, the more fruit it bears, and the little buggers are chock full of seeds. Steve’s is proud to take on the burden: they import the limes, squeeze and deseed them, make the pies, and sell them in Red Hook and through various lucky establishments throughout the city. The menu is simple: you get either a key lime pie in various sizes or you get a Swingle, which is a 4″ tart dipped in dark, semi-sweet Belcolade chocolate and frozen on a popsicle stick. I’ve had it once, and I’m not sure whether the sourness of the limes marries well with the bitterness of the chocolate– it’s a bit much to ask of the tongue, perhaps. I always get the regular 4″ personal tart with its smooth and citrusy filling in the tasty Graham cracker crumb crust. It’s not too sweet and not too sour– the perfect balance.
Grom – Gelateria Delizioso
When visiting Grom, you may be tempted, Baskin-Robbins-style, to head straight over to the ice cream counter to pick which flavor has the biggest chunks of chocolate, fresh-fruitiest color, and what have you– NOT SO FAST! If you do, you’ll lose your place in line like we did. There’s really not much to see anyway as all the gelati are contained in canisters with metal lids. Plus, if you wait patiently in front of the registers for your turn, you’ll be waited upon by Grom professionals who will supply you with samples upon request. Another plus is that, even for a small, you can get two flavors. This way, my friend and I tasted three delicious gelati and a sorbet: Bacio, which is a popular Italian flavor of chocolate and hazelnut; Crema di Grom, containing “Battifollo” biscuits and chocolate chips; Crema come una volta, containing egg yolks and a hint of lemon; and Albicocca (Apricot) sorbet.
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Daniel – The Inaugural Post
What better way to kick-off a dessert blog than to go to one of the best restaurants in all of NYC– Daniel? I didn’t know it was even possible to make a reservation for dessert only, since there’s no way I could afford to eat there, but Daniel is very accommodating and lets you sit in the Lounge. We decided to eat dinner in the form of sandwiches from Defonte’s new Manhattan outpost, and, enjoying the marked contrast, we sat down to dine in luxury. The desserts were delish, and we had a wonderfully unexpected adventure afterwards that made me conclude I may be on-track with this whole food blogging thing.
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